PART 4 Sparklers and Fireflies....

So now that I am terrified of every single man, I find myself hiding in the house and watching the kids play outside. Wondering which one of them would be next or even more twisted which one of them was enjoying what might be happening. I wanted so much to go out there and ask if this was normal, but the fear of any of them saying "no way" and the making fun me frightened me to death.
My uncle used to love to fish, one afternoon he came home and was gutting this big shark in the back yard. I was so scared but curious so I decided to go out there and check it out. My uncle was a wonderful man to me and my parents. He was always there to help us, but I was now so scared of him. He was a man after all.  As he started opening up the fish, a bunch of big blobs starting coming out. I was horrified, it was a bunch of eggs. My uncle, with tears in his eyes said "if I would have known she was pregnant I would have let her go". Not sure why those words were so powerful to me but instantly I was no longer afraid. Here was a man with compassion and cared for the poor female shark. My new sense of confidence was evident, I was outside again, I was riding my bike I wasn't afraid of my 2 year old cousin. As silly as that sounds, it was my reality.
My uncle always had the best fireworks on the block for 4th of July. He would give us kids sparklers and chase us around. I remember those moments like they were yesterday. I was so happy and free and felt so loved. My uncle always showed me so much love. Till this day I can not thank him enough for the man he was to me growing up.
A few days after the 4th of July, I was riding my bike with one of the sparklers in my hand. It wasn't lit but I was pretending it was. This older man was walking to his mail box and when he saw me he licked his lips in a weird way. "Whatever" I thought. I kept going back and fourth not paying attention to the man even though I knew he was watching me from his porch. Suddenly I fell, of course, right in front of his home, about 6 houses down from my aunts. He came running to help me. As he approached his black robe opened a little bit and I saw his penis. As I sat on the floor I could not take my eyes off of it. I was numb with fear. All  remember after that was his voice saying "sparklers remind me of fireflies want me to light it?" I stood up and told him I needed to get home because my dad was going to be home from work soon. Then he told me "it's only 2:30 your father doesn't come home until 6:00". He was right and I didn't think anything of it. As an adult I realize this man was scoping things out, waiting to make his move.
He slowly tied his robe and said "come on, lets light this thing". I was scared but believed that the "exposure" was an accident and the poor man had no idea what I had seen. I sat on is front lawn and he lit my sparkler. I was waiving it around and began to think that it really did look like a bunch of fireflies. It was beautiful. As soon as my mind slipped into innocence mode again, he grabbed my hand and put it in between his legs. In broad daylight! Outside!  I didn't move. My sparkler went out and he told me he had more inside. I stood up and told him I was going home and he said "No...... you are not....are you scared?" I said "yes" although I think I just nodded. Then he told me "you are not scared......You like it........ If you didn't you would have moved your hand away. You are so pretty, does anyone ever tell you that?" He looked at me with these huge blue eyes and said "come on, lets get those fireflies". I don't remember much about what happen in that house, but I do remember laying on a brown leather couch, naked, surrounded by red candles. He told me that I was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen and that I need to be careful because allot of men were going to be attracted to me. I went to the bathroom and remember seeing some blood drip down the side of my leg. I was so scared I didn't want to get out. I wasn't feeling any pain, but everything began to go dim. I don't remember getting out, I don't remember going home and I cant remember if anything like that ever happened again. 
One day I was sitting outside and he was walking is dog, he stopped and said hello, I didn't respond. He than said "Whats wrong? are you jealous of my dog? You know you are my only girlfriend" Sick fucker, he was probably screwing the dog too! I looked at him and said "I wish you would have set my face on fire with those sparklers so no one will want to do those things to me again." Again, I can' remember what happened. From that moment I fantasized everyday that he would come into my aunts house and try to get me and the house would just go up in flames with him screaming inside.
Weird, soon after my aunt moved from that house, it actually did catch on fire.... 
Mild, compared to what is to come next

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